As some people might have guessed I am never far from my bible. I own several in fact. I even have one that is just the right size to fit into my purse and there is one in my glove compartment. The car actually came with the bible. The dealership we buy from is owned by a Christian and he makes sure every car comes with one. I would be lost without my bible and I am talking more than the physical sense. We all would be lost without the Word and its living truth.
You would think a woman who has as many bibles as I do would be able to quote scripture by memory at least a little wouldn’t you? Not me….not a bit. I have to go to my bible, open its pages and ask the Spirit to direct me to where He would like me to go. I am totally dependent on that.
It used to frustrate me that I was not like some people I know who can rattle off chapter and verse like they are sharing their phone number and address. I thought there was something deficient in me to not be able to do that. I even questioned whether I was a good Christian to not be able to do that. A weird notion I know but yet it nagged at me. I would sit there day after day praying for and attempting to memorize verses and it was like my brain had a Teflon coating and nothing would stick.
Along with this inability to memorize scripture I was also unaware of what my spiritual gifts may be. Again, people I know can tell me what gifts God has given them and can claim they see certain gifts in me but I am totally unaware of what my gifts are. I pray Gods will in my life, for it to be He who lives in me and I am open to being used for His glory so if there are gifts being lived out through me it is He and I guess I don’t have to be able to list what gifts I think He has given me. Maybe it is good that I cannot do so otherwise there is a risk of thinking it is of myself rather than of Him. I can be a boob sometimes.
It has been a recent revelation to me that memorizing scripture is just not something I am meant to do right now. What I am to always be doing is seeking and being transformed by the Word. If I became “knowledge” based there is the danger of it not reaching my heart and then I would be like a Pharisee. I’ve known a few people who have used scripture to back up their opinions and agendas instead of applying it in their lives and listening for what God would have us do and be. Sounds to me like memorization runs a person the risk of then becoming to self-assured instead of God assured.
I have grown quite content in my inability to memorize. Where I once saw it as a defect I now see it as a gift. Nothing fills my heart and soul as does this dependency on running to the Word for comfort, guidance, healing and praise. So, all that praying I did to be able to memorize…… God did answer my prayer….He just said not now. He knows me completely in ways I am not even aware of myself. His way is perfect and His plans are flawless. I rest in that securely and with joy.
Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
7 comments:
I found something you said very interesting: Scripture memorization running the risk of leading someone to self-assuredness. As someone who loves to memorize Scripture and encourages people to do so all the time, I would have to agree on one level and disagree on another.
One, yes, it can...but so can any discipline that we engage in improperly. Having your Bible always at hand as you do can lead one to pride. Giving to a church or other form of ministry can puff people as well. Yes, memorization can simply be "knowledge", but so can daily reading from the Bible.
Two, I must disagree as well simply because, memorization has SO many benefits to the Christian lift. Our Lord Himself showed the beauty of Scripture being memorized when He defeated the temptations of Satan with three different Bible verses.
First, wow...thanks for responding. You are my first person who is a complete stranger to stumble across my meager little blog and comment. Suddenly I feel more vulnerable yet exhilarated at the same time. I welcome the input.
Second, I do not disagree with anything you have said. I was merely gnawing on the fact that God does not apparently want ME to memorize at this time and possibly for the reasons that I stated. As I had shared it was and is my hearts desire to be able to do memorization and much for the reasons you stated. But for some reason I am blocked in this area and I am completely dependent on having my bible within arms reach. Instead of seeing this as a defect I am seeing this as part of the Lord's plan and when I am to retain these scriptures it will be in His timing and reason.
I hope my writing wasn't generalizing. It was meant purely as a personal account of what my journey has been thus far.
Thank you again so much for responding. I feel a bit inadequate since I read your profile and it said you are a writer. I, sadly, am not. Just a woman with too much on her mind. ;)
No worries...I set my google account to pick up any blogs that talk about Scripture Memorization. I like a lot of what you said! Keep up the good work and, no, I am not a writer. I wrote a book, which was self-published and not read by many people. LOL!
Theresa....I have often struggled with Scripture memorization. It is definitely not a gift that I have been Graced with.
I think it is an important gift to have, and have found myself feeling envious (yes, envy) of the people that I know that can so refer to scripture so readily.
But you hit the nail on the head....we all have different gifts, if we all had the same gifts why would we need each other. We are the body of Christ after all, and scripture memorization is just one fraction of that body. How grateful I am that I have the ability to read scripture if not the ability to memorize each verse...
bless you Theresa...
I am terrible at ANY type of memorization, and the Lord knows that. I believe that's why he opened my eyes to the love of reading, so I can read His word when I want and/or need to. I don't need to memorize His word in order to KNOW His word. V-
Theresa~
I think you are a beautiful writer and you sound a lot like me with what you have said in this post! I would love to try and do some bible study together when we both have the time to do it!
Thanks for sharing such wonderful insights!
Ladies have I told you all how much I love you? Thank you to all for your comments.
~Theresa
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